Bloody Sox

Red Sox Rants — and other random opinions about sports

Paging Dr. Pierce… paging Dr. Pierce…

With the latest news that Jason Varitek is now going to be on the disabled list for six weeks or more, the Red Sox injury problems have gone from dire to almost comical. I expect any minute now to see Alan Alda and Wayne Rogers show up in the M*A*S*H Unit that the Red Sox locker has become.

Here are the current Red Sox casualties (in order of magnitude of loss):

  • Dustin Pedroia, on the disabled list. Probably the team’s biggest loss, out until around the first week of August.
  • Victor Martinez, on the disabled list. Out until at least the return from the All-Star break.
  • Jacoby Ellsbury, on the disabled list. Out until who know when?
  • Josh Beckett, on the disabled list. Mending, and soon to be back in the lineup (we hope at something like his old effectiveness).
  • Clay Buchholz, not on the disabled list, but missing one start. Hopefully pitching at his top form soon.
  • Jason Varitek, on the disabled list. Probably won’t be back in the lineup until mid August.
  • Mike Cameron, active but hurting and needs rest regularly.
  • Jeremy Hermida, on the disabled list. Making progress.
  • Mike Lowell, on the disabled list. Probably will never be in a Red Sox uniform again.
  • Jed Lowrie, on the disabled list or something like it. Perhaps in Never-Never Land.
  • Manny Delcarmen, on the disabled list. Thank god.
  • J.D. Drew, active, but needs to sit out a game whenever a fan from any of the first three rows sneezes behind him. Fans have taken to referring to him as Nancy, though this is a scurrilous insult to the actual Nancy Drew, a plucky and resourceful teenage detective.

So the Red Sox need to keep pace with the powerful Yankees and the talented Rays with a daily lineup including names like Kevin Cash, Gustavo Molina, Daniel Nava, Darnell McDonald, Eric Patterson, and Bill Hall (and probably a guy or two who ain’t here yet). And their bullpen is Jonathan Papelbon, Daniel Bard, Sleepy, Grumpy, Pamela Sue Martin, Gary Burghoff, and the dog from Family Guy.

The trading deadline is fast approaching. I wonder how much the Sox injury status will effect what Theo does. Will he make deals to fill gaps? Will he assume the walking wounded will return, and instead concentrate on the team’s overall weaknesses (i.e. the bullpen)? Will he decide this just isn’t the Sox year and not waste the prospects?

I suppose it will depend upon how the team hangs in there over the next four weeks. I just hope the M*A*S*H OR doesn’t fill up with even more casualties in the meantime.


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